The Challenge of Living with a Messie

Did you ever (poke) wonder what it (poke) is like for a cleanie (poke poke) living long-term with (poke) a messie? I’d imagine (poke) it’s just like living with someone poking you all__the__time.  

I mean, we’ve learned to tune it out, but it’s just not possible for them.  And every piece of paper, cup, and all that clutter everywhere they look is just one more poke to them.  

photo credit: megan leetz via photopin cc


Those of you who are Moms can relate to that.  How many times have you had a kid who is pestering you like that and just getting on your last nerve?  You know, the kid that says mommy. Mommy. MOMMY! about one thousand times until you think your ears are going to bleed.  Or the one who kicks the table leg or snaps her gum for the 85th time?  How hard was it to just not snap back at them?  

That’s exactly the way your cleanie partner feels about your situation when he or she has to come home to a messy house day after day after day. 
If you love someone, why would you want to do that to them?  They have probably been trying to tell you about it for years, but you’ve just ignored them or discounted their feelings.  But look at it this way.  This is their HOME – it’s the only place they have where they can go to unwind every day and if there is no corner of the house where they can have the peace and beauty they crave – that’s just sad.  
Maybe you can’t change your ways 100%, but you can start being a more considerate partner to the cleanie you love.  Start talking. And start listening.  Maybe between the two of you, you can come up with a compromise that will work for both sides of the coin….

If you’d like to view past decluttering posts, just click on the Clutterbugs label at the bottom of this post for a complete list.


  1. We are all messy here and I am working hard to change that! Its not easy to get back to organization when you have little free time but I am trying to do it little by little!

  2. I’ve always been so grateful that both my husband and I are anti-mess. Of course, that means we need to learn to be a little extra relaxed when family is visiting or staying with us and we don’t go running and cleaning up constantly–because that’s no fun!

  3. We are people who pile at my house. The piles do look a little messy.

  4. I am a cleanie and I hated living with people that are messy! It made me feel exactly like you said.
    I am really lucky in that my husband is mostly a cleanie, except for his gear room, I just close that door and pretend that it doesn’t exist!
    Thanks for sharing, I am visiting from SITS.

  5. I am a cleanie for sure. The hubs isn’t messy but we have had,our struggles trying to adapt. He finally had to just about knock me over the head because I’d pick up warm sodas and throw them away (apparently he likes them just fine, ick!). He has gotten much better about not leaving things laying around because he knows it makes me crazy (ok, it might be self defense because I have to put them away).

    I definitely agree that it takes work to try and find a happy medium that we can both live with

  6. Our problem is that this house has one messie married to another messie, raising three messie juniors! I know I need to get a handle on it for the kids’ sake, so I’m working on it.

    Happy Sharefest!

  7. I’m definitely the cleanie person in my home and I know I get on my husband’s nerves but I’d rather live my way than his way. He’s gotten so much better in the five years we have been together but there are still some things he just won’t stop doing.

    It is tough.

    Visiting from #SITSSHAREFEST

    Keep it Touched,

  8. You have hit the nail right on the proverbial head! It does feel like someone is poking at you throughout the day! I need to print this and place it somewhere my Hubby will find it…LOL

    Great Post! I feel like you spoke straight from my OCD filled mind… 😉

  9. I am a messie but it doesn’t bother anyone else in my home because I keep my messiness in my room. I share a room with my 5yo & its too tedious to clean up after her all day so I just leave her messes until the evening…two days later. #SITSsharefest

  10. To be honest I am kind of a messie and my husband is a cleanie. When he starts threatening to throw things away I usually start cleaning up my mess.

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