This is a very special outfit. It’s pretty old – eleven years old to be exact. I bought it back when I was pregnant with Blake. My son Blake. Obviously, I was hoping for a slightly different outcome. Well, kinda hoping anyway. At that point, I had just had four miscarriages in a year, so I was really focused on just having a healthy baby, but after fifteen years of raising boys at that point, I was thinking a little girl might be a nice change. Scary, but nice.
You wouldn’t think that the thought of raising a daughter would be scary, but I kind of was. I mean, I actually AM a girl, so you’d think I’d know a little bit about them. But even though I desperately wanted a girl when I was pregnant with Matt, I got over it about 24 hours after the amnio and I’ve been sold on boys ever since. Which is a good thing because we have a LOT of boys. I have 3 boys, 2 grandsons, and about a dozen nephews and grand nephews of all sizes – one of them is even a Grandpa – yikes! And I’m not even counting all my dozens of boy cousins. We managed to sneak a few little girls in there, but we are definitely the few and the proud.
So, when I found out that Blake was going to be a boy, I think my biggest feeling was relief. I know boys. I can do boys. I can do them in my sleep. Although at that point, I hadn’t yet met Blake, who is the most busy, active, and talkative of a litter of very busy, very active, and very talkative boys. But I knew I could handle him.
However, I still had this special little outfit. Sitting in my hope chest. And I would take it out every once in a while and look at it. And think about what might have been… And then go and hug my son.
But now, it looks like this special little outfit might just get a little girl after all. A special little grand-daughter who is waiting to be born in just a few weeks, right after my birthday. I’ll bet she’ll look just darling in it!